Depravity

(Spoken Word Poetry)

 

You laid sand upon you dearly departed

An affliction struck you and left you half-hearted

You begged it to be over, but oh no, it had just started

Did you reckon it’s over just because they’ve parted?

No, this emptiness will go on and the burden shall grow

A salient ailment for you alone

As he tries to remand and tries to atone

To pick up the phone and call his friends

But the call never connects, the caller never sends

A message, he relishes to stay in his own depravity

Locked in the confines of his sanctity

Asking himself “why this was done to me”

The darkness of his mind becoming his enemy

As the voices bubble and gather so loud

Mocking and judging in every sound

“Just stay away”, you act out

To those who approach, to those who try

To care in your despair, then why

Are your hopes not renewed?

For I deduce this ruse you used

Is an excuse you produced to confuse

Those that care, to continue in your abuse

Of yourself, to poison your mind

And retreat into a person they wouldn’t find-

-In Any semblance of the man they once beloved

Now consumed in rage, a being corrupt

A façade of bravado you raised to abrupt

And halt the advancement of any aid

For you have no need nor want to be saved

You know whats at heart and why you are depraved

Of the softness of love and the tenderness of touch

The warmth of kindness and all that such

You once held dear is now smeared into dust

Whilst you question your place and existence in life

Counting the weights of your virtues and vice

And glaring at your hands in spite

For they failed you once, but will they fail you twice?

Weighing the outcomes in grief and scorn

Pain and sadness are all you’ve known

Surely this life means something more?

 

 

 

Picture credit to owner

The Reclamation of Zarah Baloch (Novella Ch:8)

Ch1, Ch2, Ch3, Ch4, Ch5, Ch6, Ch7 

Chapter 8: Evanescence

The bitterness of the January winds had begun to showcase themselves during the onset of the semester finals. Students of all academic caliber tested their mettle against the unrelenting barrage of swift examinations that their faculty flung at them mercilessly. One after another a student would exit the hall early and shove their palm into their eyes to console the tears that follow, knowing that the best they had to offer would not suffice amongst the heated competition.

The Reclamation of Zarah Baloch (Novella Ch:7)

Ch1, Ch2, Ch3, Ch4, Ch5, Ch6

 

Chapter 7: Modest

He awoke to the sight of a luminescent object at the foot of his bed, immobile and silent. It was ovular and from the curvature at the top he could make out the shape of a small head, long white hair simmering down and covering the figure from distinguishable view. He sat up and halted as his eyes adjusted to the faintness of the night, holding his breath and processing. Near the base of the white he could identify tiny digits, probably toes and gauged the tight position which the strange figure maintained. They both sat near the opposite ends of the bed frame under the glimmer of moonlight that shone down through the large window adjacent to them. He couldn’t look away from her since he knew there was nothing aside from her in the room.

The Reclamation of Zarah Baloch (Novella Ch:6)

Ch1, Ch2, Ch3, Ch4, Ch5

 

Chapter 6: Break

Their stares remained interlocked for a few heated moments, the atmosphere thickening in the backdrop as the damp wood finally grazed flame and puffed out thick clouds of soot.  Zaka tried to calculate the scenario in his head, while Zarah considered the possibility of his intentions. “He’s just making fun of me… Is he? Just like they did.”

What got into her all of a sudden? She wouldn’t bring her parents up if she was so defensive about them? Venting?

Zarah released her grip as Zaka timidly lowered his shoulders, both shifting blades of grass in their hands. The wind blew from behind them, clearing the air of the depositing carbon, likewise loosening the suffocation on the pair’s dialogue.

Mockery?

The Reclamation of Zarah Baloch (Novella Ch:5)

Ch1, Ch2, Ch3, Ch4

Chapter 5: Moth

 

The front door flung open as Zaka stomped inside, slamming it behind himself as he moved down the unlit hall towards the staircase. The overhanging chandelier burst the room into brightness as Aya appeared in the walkway, looked concernedly at her little boy, who only paused to acknowledge her presence and ascended upwards. The lady however, was persistent in her care and followed him upstairs, only to be met with a door to her face.

Aya waited a few patient minutes, listening to the boy rummaging through his closet and shifting on his chair and then his bed, until eventually knocking nonstop on his thick black door. The young man inside had his face buried in his pillow, using it to muffle the sound and will it away. But he couldn’t do that to Aya and got up to attend the door.

“What’s the matter” he inquired impatiently.

The Reclamation of Zarah Baloch (Novella Ch:4)

Ch:1, Ch: 2, Ch:3

 

Chapter 4: Appeal

October accompanied the city with the habitual Western depression rain showers that further added to the humidity and coupled itself with the first signs of wintry chills. Every early morning from here on out till the start of Spring would feature mild to moderate to thick blankets of fog that distort all vision, work and travel. It’s a featured element of the State of Punjab, though Rawalpindi is spared the severity of it due to its hilly locality, although this attributes to colder temperatures and frosty dew.

The Reclamation of Zarah Baloch (Novella Ch: 3)

Ch:1, Ch:2

Chapter 3: Speck

 

“Log in:

The 3 weeks following my first formal encounter with Zarah were spent systematically implanting my presence into her daily routine. This is easy to accomplish, since social norms prevent me from talking to her or getting too close to her on a normal basis, which leaves me with the comfortable position of just walking by. I stopped taking the transit shuttles running within the university and walked all the way from the main parking lot besides the gated entrance, mapping out my route towards my biology and Natural Sciences complex to always have me make a shortcut through the Arts and Humanities area. So, as it would be perceived, fate would have me within walking distance from her every school day around noon. Of course, I don’t expect her nor myself to walk up to each other anytime soon and that’s just fine, since this leaves the brewing of reasoning to the imagination. When we do meet again, and she expresses any indication of seeing me walk by every day, the manner in which it is brought up would be highly suggestive of her thought process and within what light she perceives me to be.

The Reclamation of Zarah Baloch (Novella Ch:2)

Chapter 1

Chapter 2: Caress

 

“Log in:

This initial paragraph is to reply in detail to username Zemon789 regarding an inquiry of my methodology used a week ago in modifying the behavior of my subjects to achieve a desired result. You referred to it as “manipulation of natural data” and claimed that it falsifies anything I conclude from it afterwards. To clarify the situation Zemon789, I have already concluded their behaviors have I not? The fact that I can accurately predict their actions and alter them to my desired outcome is proof that I have achieved the knowledge I wanted from them. Yes, that does not give me natural data from them, but I do not seek it anymore. I cannot laud over my laurels, but tread onwards to bigger, higher targets.

The Reclamation of Zarah Baloch (Novella Ch: 1)

Chapter 1: The Stage

“Humanistic theory psychology attempts to study the individual with focus of self-worth and motivation, stemming from the understanding of self-actualization. There has been a rise in the fascination of ‘self’ recently, a concept of reflection and deeper understanding of one’s own desires and motivations. I am no exception to this rule, although I argue the roots of its origin. From a tender age I was drawn towards the aspects of ones-self that is presented to society, sculpted and polished to match a desired outcome, to provoke a stimulus. To put it mildly, people are fake.  Trying to subliminally influence responses and compliments, stares and envy from one another, with an added layer of ‘I’m not even trying’.

Whiplash

New novella comes out next week guys.

Till then, here’s this from me